Well, we certainly should blog more often.  We could all make a huge list of  “shoulds”.   I am sure that everyone has a list that might start like this….

I should clean out that hall closet; I should clean out the garage; I should dust the top of that cabinet; I should read that classic book I have always meant to; I should prune that tree out back; I should take a vacation; I should throw out that tattered sweater.  These shoulds are important to the organization of our lives and often help clear our lives of clutter and help us realize personal goals.

Then the list might go on to something like this…. I should exercise more; I should eat more vegetables; I should have my cholesterol checked; I should go get a physical; I should get more rest; I should stop doing X because it causes me so much stress; I should read more often; I should get a massage.  This list involves taking care of ourselves.  What a selfish thing to do.  Right?  Wrong…. this list of shoulds is very important.  Taking care of our personal, physical and mental health is very unselfish.  It means that we will be best able to care for others and do the work that God has called us to do.

And somehow last on our list comes this list of shoulds….the list that should not be a should at all (I know sounds a little like Dr. Suess). I should go to church; I should love people more; I should give more of my time, talent, and resources to those in need; I should pray; I should study the Bible; I should learn to trust God.

So what is this blogger going to do?  Well, I said I should write on this blog more… but that is not my first priority.  I must learn to pray and trust in God to provide… To provide the time and knowledge to take care of all that comes with being the family of the stroke survivor; to provide patience; to provide healing; to provide guidance and peace.   This blogger learned to pray from  a prayer warrior; this blogger knows first hand the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, and, yet,  this blogger struggles daily to give over to God all that comes with being the caregiver of a stroke patient. We tell this to let you know IT IS NOT EASY.  Not easy to be the family of a stroke survivor and not easy to trust in God… it should be (there comes that word should again), but, somehow, we find ourselves relying on our own strength.

God raised Jesus from the dead.  Even death is no match for our Lord.  So why is it so hard to trust in God?  Why is it so hard to let God deal with the trials of life?  It is human nature to become self-sufficient.   I am sure God sees us much like we see a 4 or 5 year old child.  The toddler says, “Nooooo, I can do it myself.  Noooo, I can brush my own teeth.”  Then after a few minutes of trying to complete the task alone, the toddler cries out,    “Daaaad, I can’t get the cap off the toothpaste.”  How often are we like that with our God?  We demand autonomy, but it is often to our own detriment,  and we end up crying out for help.  Thankfully, we are the children of a patient, loving God. We should learn to let God handle it in the first place, and stop trying to do it all on our own.  And as we trust him, we will, in fact, like the toddler, become able to handle life more effectively.  We must allow God to guide and teach us.

And so, you ask… how is Arla?  She is well.  She continues to improve everyday.  Improvement is slow, but it continues.  Pray for Harold that he may have strength and peace.  Life is different now, and life will continue to change.  Pray that Harold may accept all that is and is to come.  Pray that Arla may continue to work hard and want to work hard to regain whatever it is that God has planned.

If you visit, feel free to insist that Arla speak to you.  No, she is not speaking coherent, complete sentences.  However, she needs to begin to communicate more. Harold is more than willing to do the talking for her, and you may have to tell Harold to be quiet so that Arla can try to communicate with you.  It is time for Arla to begin to advocate for herself in daily situations.  Pray that a little tough love will encourage her to ask for what she needs and to not rely on Harold so much.   Pray that Harold’s heart will allow him to let her struggle from time to time, so that she will learn to ask for what she needs.

Nothing makes a gal feel as good as a having her hair done.  Arla got her hair done on Thursday, so she was feeling good, and looking good, this weekend.

Today, Arla had a cardiologist appointment. Arla was loaded up and taken by ambulance to visit her cardiologist at Van Wert County Hospital.  Nothing is easy when you are unable to care for yourself or move yourself.   Her heart is fine, but they adjusted Arla’s blood pressure medicine.   

Today, we feel led to pray for those who are facing economic hardship.  So many are losing jobs, unable to find jobs, working in jobs they do not love but work at to pay the bills, or working in jobs that do not allow them to save money.  People are living in substandard housing and without adequate medical care.  Pray that the Lord our God would provide for those in need.

Well, Arla had hoards of trick or treaters visit her this evening.  Tonight was an hour of trick or treating at Vancrest.  Harold let Mary Ann know to bring out Erik and Evan.  We were not sure what to expect, but there is nothing more meaningful than watching children interact with the residents of Vancrest.  There were a lot of people and a lot of noise, but everyone was happy and enjoying the event.  And Arla was no exception.  She was enjoying passing out the candy to those children who came to participate.  And she was overjoyed to see Erik and Evan….even though Erik was dressed as a brain-eating zombie.

Yes, Arla is in her crying mode in the picture above.  It was momentary, in this case, as it often is.  She was so happy to see the boys, and crying is her way to express that.  We think Harold was happy to see them, too.    The night ended with a hug from a zombie and a kiss from a puppy wearing a Thomas the Tank Engine shirt.  And a “goodbye” from Arla to Mary Ann.   (Way to go, Mom!)

If you go to visit Arla around meal time and you can’t find her in her room, take a peek in the dining room right inside the front door.  While Arla is not close to eating enough to sustain her nutritional needs, she will be taken to the dining room at each meal to eat.  Today, she fed herself oatmeal at breakfast.  Hopefully, Arla will begin to have the desire and strength to eat more.  The sights and smells of the dining room can only help her want to eat.

Arla is being brought to a standing position everyday during therapy.  She is not standing on her own yet.  She also tires less with usual routines such as showering and sitting in her wheelchair.  We also got her to write her name last week.  These are all small steps toward assisting Arla in having more energy and being able to communicate.  Speech is still a struggle and a hit or miss event.

Continue to pray for Arla’s recovery.  Continue to pray for those who care for her.  Arla would tell you to pray as a believer.  We must pray with a heart of sincerity.  We must believe that what we are praying for can be accomplished and will be accomplished by our Lord.  Doubt impairs our honest communication with God.

It is unimaginable that we are heading into the last week in October.  Just like it is unimaginable that this event began almost 2 months ago.  Time stands still.   And yet, time runs away.

Through all this, we know that God blesses those who love him.  And that we were created for the pleasure of God.  God made us so that we may love him.  In all these trials, Arla has never lost the ability to love her God.  One does not have to speak to love God.  One does not have to sing to love God.  One does not have to be able to move to love God.  In a way, Arla has been given a gift.  That ability to have time to commune with her Lord.  In a way, she sets a challenge before the rest of us.  We must all love God with all our body, mind, and soul.  Arla does that everyday, so we of able bodies should be even more able to love our God and do the work of our Lord.

Continue to pray for strength.  The family has reached a time when the marathon is getting tiring.  We must push on and continue to advocate for Arla’s care and long-term well-being.  People often ask, “How is Arla?”   She is much the same.  She does make progress.  She is aware of what is going on and is finding ways to communicate.  It is frustrating and depressing, but she continues to be a witness to the love of Jesus Christ.

Thank you to all who continue to visit Arla.  She loves all of it.  And we love you for it.

Well, it has been awhile since we have posted a specific prayer request.  This one is not for Arla.  It is for a woman that our family does not know personally.  She is the mother of a co-worker.  Her name is Betty.  She, like Arla, has been living away from home due to health issues.  Her spirits are low, and she is having some additional health issues that have put her back in the hospital.  Pray for Betty.  She needs to be healed.  She needs to have your strength returned to her.  She needs hope and peace.  Pray that those who know Betty may feel the call to visit her and fill her day with friends.  And pray for Betty’s family as they deal with their mother not being well.   Chronic illness affects the entire family, not just the patient.

When you pray, do not forget to thank God for that which God gave you today.  Pray that He would help us to be happy with what we have, for it all comes from Him.

Say apple.  Go on, say it.  Apple.  What was it like?  What did it take to say that?  Do you like apples?  How many times in your life have you said that word and never really thought about how amazing it is to say it?   Apple.

Do you take for granted being able to say the word apple ?   What do you do everyday that you take for granted?  What simple tasks are actually blessings that we fail to thank God for.  Here is a quick list that may come to mind in 30 seconds or so….. getting out of bed, saying your name, swallowing your lunch, calling to your children, dialing a phone, writing a to-do list, driving across town, telling someone what you need, pouring a cup of coffee, getting dressed, going out to lunch, hugging your grandchildren with both arms, or saying the word apple.

Speaking is not an easy process.  There must be respiration (air), phonation (the voice), and articulation (the lips, jaw, tongue, and teeth all working together).  And the brain, in a healthy person, coordinates all this seamlessly.  Now say, apple.  What does this really take?  How many sounds are in it?  What do your mouth, lips, and vocal cords do?  When do you add sound to the word?  What happens if you change the vowel sound or do not voice part of the word?

If you consider all this, you will know why it is such a miracle when Arla purposefully speaks a word like apple.  It may have been the best part of her birthday and happened during her speech therapy session that day. Apple.  Arla is now at a stage where she is working to form words on purpose and from time to time gets one completely correct.  And so that word on Tuesday was APPLE.  And when she said it, she knew she had done it correctly and on purpose.  And the room seemed to buzz with the miracle of the word.  Apple.  Who knew this word would bless those who heard it in such a profound way?  Apple. One word represented an accomplishment, a commendation, a praise, a wailing, a huge leap forward, and a tiny step toward an insurmountable goal.  Apple.  It was a prayer and a present.  But as easy as it seemed to come, it took all the work and thinking and coordinating to try to do it again, only to fail. 

This is the life of the stroke survivor.  Trial and error, frustration and joy, steps and jumps, attempts and failures all in the midst of sorrow and extreme joy.  A stroke knocks you down and builds you up all at the same time.  It removes parts of your life and gives you new parts that are more wonderful than you ever knew. 

We have come to the point in the process when it is so hard to answer the question, “How is Arla doing?”  She is well.  She is making steady progress.  The progress is little by little.  But there is much work to do and she must work hard.  Pray for strength and determination.  And…. if you go to see Arla, ask her to say “bye” to you before you leave.  She will have to work at it.  Ba, Ba, Ba….Bye.   She can say it.   It is important that she works hard.

The title of this post could be Arla’s mission statement.  She has spent her entire life being a builder and encourager of people.  She has an unselfish nature.  And that unselfishness has become embedded in the fabric of her family.  We have all become encouragers and builders of those around us.  We love everyone and feel most fulfilled when we are helping others.

Today, the following post came from “Daily Hope” by Rick Warren.  It just seemed to be something important that needs to be shared.

“In response to all he has done for us, let us outdo each other in being
helpful and kind to each other and in doing good.” Hebrews 10:24 (TLB)

Being a people-builder requires unselfishness. 

I want to give you an objective: be a people-builder for the rest of your
life. Begin by writing down the name of one person you want to help build up,
then stop and pray. 

Ask God to show you that person’s strengths. We always build on our
strengths, not on our weaknesses. Write down whatever strengths you’ve seen in
him or her in the past. 

Then tell that person, “I’ve been thinking about you because I really care
about you. I wanted to share with you the strengths I see in your life because
those strengths help determine what God wants us to do in our lives.”

Imagine the impact you could have if you would commit yourself to being a
people-builder. Imagine what would happen if you determined to bring out the
best in everyone you know.

Make a commitment today to help others grow and to encourage them to become
what God made them to be.

Arla is still a people builder.  She is touching the lives of people she has never met and building them today with her smile and her strength.  Arla cannot speak; she is unable to move her right side; she cannot care for herself.  However, she is still encouraging people everyday.  What are we not doing in our lives that we could be doing?  What is holding us back from doing the full work of our lives?  What opportunities are we missing to be a help to others?  Who needs you today?  Ask God to remind you to encourage and build up others today and this week.  Write down the name of someone to encourage and make it your goal this week.  It will make all the difference.  If Arla can do it, so can you. 

Tomorrow is Arla’s birthday.  We are so blessed to be able to celebrate another year of her life.  And that fact will be enough of a blessing to carry us for awhile.